Back To School Anxiety- Some Tips & Tricks for parents.

Alexa Andrews (She/Her) - MA, RCT-C, CCC

September often brings lots of changes - back to school, new routines, and a change in season approaching. For some, these changes are exciting, and for others, they can bring stress and anxiety. We've all had that mix of emotions at some point in our lives - excited to have a fresh start at school and seeing friends we haven't seen all summer, but also feeling sad that summer and beach days are coming to an end. Some of us thrive on routine, and whether you're a parent or child, school can provide this external structure where you know what to expect every day.

As a child, this transitional period can bring up a lot of feelings, and it can take time to settle into the new routine. For parents, it can be hard to understand these new behaviours coming up and how to help their child with these big feelings. Here are a few tips you can use as a parent whose child may struggle with the transition or have mixed feelings about the new school year.

1. Check-ins 

If you're a parent, check in with yourself, as children can often pick up on how we're feeling. If you're noticing that you're feeling some anxiety, take some deep breaths and take some time to reset. Modelling these coping skills and naming the feelings can also go a long way when teaching emotional regulation. 

Check in with your child. How are they feeling about the upcoming school year? Do they have any worries? What are they excited about? Listen to them without judgment and acknowledge the feeling they may be having. Instead of saying stuff like "don't worry, it'll be okay," try validating their feelings and show them that you are listening. This is a time when you could teach some coping skills, like deep breaths or visualization. Practise these skills together so your child knows how to use them. Alternatively, you could take some time together to problem-solve solutions to some of these worries. Having a plan, whether that be knowing coping skills or having solutions to our fears, can be helpful. 

2. Setting realistic goals and expectations 

Some kids can have really high expectations and put a lot of pressure on themselves to perform or be "perfect." Having open conversations about the importance of balance during the school year can help children gain a new perspective. Of course, having discipline and good grades is essential, but also making sure we aren't putting too much on our plate and making sure we take time to relax, reset and take care of ourselves is equally important. If we are overstressed, tired and hungry, our brains can't work to their full capacity. Figure out what this balance looks like for your family. 

3. Putting things in perspective 

For some, school was the best years of their lives, while for others, they were the worst. Regardless of our experiences in school, we should remember that our kids may have a completely different experience (whether that be good or bad). While their problems or worries may seem small in comparison to "real world problems," we should remember that in their world, these are big problems that cause a lot of anxiety and can have lasting effects. Try to validate your child's feelings and experiences, and remember that a new school year can be a tough transition for some.

School anxiety can start at any time, as children navigate various challenges, including self-discovery, learning, managing social relationships, and trying to fit in. If the stress or anxiety is persistent and affecting your child's daily life, it may be time to reach out to a professional. Most schools have a guidance counsellor they can talk to, or seeking private services can also be an option.