Big Feelings, Big Transitions, and the Power of Routine

By Rose Degenhardt, MA, RCT, CCC, Founder, Venture Counselling & Therapy Inc.

As August winds down and Labour Day weekend approaches, the air shifts. Not just in temperature—but in emotion. For many families, this long weekend marks the final exhale before the plunge into back-to-school chaos: routines, supply lists, financial pressures, and the emotional rollercoaster of transitions—for both children and parents. This time of year can stir up as much anxiety as excitement, and for some children—particularly those with trauma histories or neurodivergent needs—it can feel overwhelming.

Let’s take a breath together and talk about what this season really looks like, and how we can navigate it with compassion and clarity.

The Emotional Weight of September

Whether your child is entering daycare, starting elementary school, or moving into junior high or high school, transitions are emotionally intense. They often trigger feelings of fear, uncertainty, and vulnerability, especially in kids who have lived through trauma, separation, or instability.

Children may not have the language to say, “I’m scared of change,” so instead you might see: big emotional reactions, sleep disturbances, clinginess or withdrawal, anger, mood swings or irritability, and complaints of stomach aches or headaches.

It’s important to remember: behaviour is often a communication of internal stress. Kids may not be “acting out”—they may be bracing for the unknown.

Why Structure Helps—Especially for Traumatized Kids

Children with trauma histories often live in a state of nervous system hyper-alertness. They scan for danger, anticipate rejection, or struggle with the unpredictability of their environment. That’s why, although school can feel scary, the structure and routine of school often helps them thrive.

Clear expectations, consistent adults, and predictable routines help calm their nervous systems. But getting to that place of calm takes time—and that’s where we as parents, caregivers, and therapists come in.

A Word to Parents: It’s Okay If You’re Overwhelmed

Let’s be real: getting ready for school isn’t cheap or easy. There’s the cost of school supplies, new clothes, indoor/outdoor shoes, and “in-style” backpacks—plus lunch prep, early mornings, and re-establishing bedtime routines. If you're also juggling financial strain, co-parenting challenges, or mental health stress, it can feel like too much.

You’re not alone if you’ve: lost your cool over a forgotten lunch box, stressed about affording new sneakers, cried after dropping your child off at a new school, or worried that you’re not “doing enough.”

You are enough. You’re doing your best—and that matters.

Tips for Easing the Transition

Here are a few therapist-informed ways to support your child—and yourself—through the weeks ahead:

1. Talk About It Early and Often

   Name the change: “School is starting soon. That can feel exciting and scary.” Invite them to share what they’re thinking about it—without pressure to be positive.

   
   

2. Rebuild Routine Gently

   Start reintroducing school-year rhythms: earlier bedtimes, regular meal times, and consistent wakeups. Use visual charts if helpful. Practice going through the morning routine together.

   
   

3. Create a Safe Space for Feelings

   Let your child know their feelings are welcome—even the hard ones. Try: “It’s okay if you’re nervous. I get nervous before big changes, too.”

   
   

4. Prepare Together

   Let them help pick their supplies or label their notebooks. Even small choices give them a sense of control and agency.

   
   

5. Normalize the Wobbles

   Transitions are hard—for everyone. Let them know it’s normal to feel unsure at first and that things will feel easier in time.

   
   

What About Older Kids?

Transitions from elementary to junior high or junior high to high school bring their own stressors: new social rules, bigger environments, changing friend groups, and academic pressures. Teens may appear aloof or disinterested, but often underneath is fear about fitting in, failing, or being “enough.” Give them space—but stay connected. Offer check-ins that don’t feel like interrogations. Try: “On a scale of 1–10, how ready do you feel for school?” or “What’s one thing you’re looking forward to… and one thing that feels hard?”

Therapy Helps, Too

Back-to-school season is a great time to check in with a therapist, especially if your child has struggled with anxiety, trauma, school refusal, or self-esteem issues. Therapy can provide a consistent, safe space for:

• Processing school-related fears

• Building emotional regulation skills

• Learning how to ask for help

• Rehearsing problem-solving and social scenarios• Strengthening caregiver-child communication

At Venture Counselling & Therapy Inc., our child and family therapists offer play-based and talk therapy tailored to support kids through major transitions like this.

Final Thoughts

This long weekend, while others are soaking in the last days of summer, know that it’s also okay to feel stretched, tired, or worried. There’s no perfect way to return to school—just present, loving adults who keep showing up.

If your child is struggling, know that structure, stability, and connection will help them find their feet again. And if you’re struggling, know that you’re not alone—and support is here when you need it.

Stepping into September with softness and strength,

Rose Degenhardt, MA, RCT, CCC

Child & Family Therapist | Founder, Venture Counselling & Therapy Inc.