More Than Being Organized: What Living With OCD Has Taught Me About Anxiety, Control, and Recovery

By Rose Degenhardt, MA, RCT, CCC

Registered Counselling Therapist | Founder & Clinical Director, Venture Counselling & Therapy Inc.

Posted: October 15, 2026

OCD Awareness Week: Let's Talk About What OCD Really Looks Like

This week is OCD Awareness Week, and this topic is both professional and personal for me.

I am a therapist.

And I am also someone who has OCD.

I've written about my experience before because I believe there is value in mental health professionals acknowledging that having training, education, and therapeutic skills doesn't somehow make us immune to mental health struggles.

Sometimes people are surprised when therapists talk about having our own mental health challenges.

But therapists are human too.

We experience anxiety.

We experience grief.

We experience trauma.

We can need therapy ourselves.

And yes, some of us live with OCD.

Having OCD has given me a perspective that no textbook could completely provide.

I understand OCD clinically.

But I also understand what it feels like when your own brain desperately wants certainty.

OCD Is Not Just Being Organized

One of the biggest misconceptions about Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is that it simply means being extremely organized, clean, particular, or perfectionistic.

We've probably all heard someone say:

“I'm so OCD about my kitchen.”

Or:

“My closet has to be organized by colour. I'm totally OCD.”

But OCD is much more complex than liking things tidy.

At its core, OCD typically involves obsessions and compulsions.

Obsessions are unwanted, intrusive thoughts, images, urges, or fears that create significant distress.

Compulsions are behaviours or mental rituals a person feels driven to perform in an attempt to reduce that distress or prevent something feared from happening.

And not every compulsion is visible.

That's important.

Sometimes OCD Happens Entirely Inside Your Head

People often picture OCD as repeated handwashing, checking locks, or arranging objects.

Those can certainly be compulsions.

But OCD can also involve things other people never see.

Replaying conversations.

Reviewing memories.

Mentally checking.

Counting.

Repeating words internally.

Researching something over and over.

Seeking reassurance.

Confessing.

Avoiding certain situations.

Trying to determine with absolute certainty whether something happened, could happen, or means something about you.

The person sitting beside you may look completely calm while internally their mind is running through the same question for the hundredth time.

That's one of the exhausting parts of OCD.

The OCD Cycle

OCD often operates through a cycle.

An intrusive thought appears.

“What if…?”

Anxiety increases.

The person feels an intense need to do something to make that uncertainty disappear.

So they check.

Ask for reassurance.

Google.

Avoid.

Repeat.

Review.

Clean.

Count.

Or perform another ritual.

For a moment, anxiety decreases.

And that's exactly where OCD becomes stronger.

The brain learns:

“That ritual kept me safe.”

So the next time the intrusive thought appears, the urge to perform the compulsion becomes even stronger.

What provides short-term relief can reinforce the cycle long-term.

Understanding that changed the way I looked at my own OCD.

My Experience With OCD

I've experienced periods in my life when my OCD was much louder than others.

One particularly difficult period was during my separation.

My life was changing dramatically.

I was navigating the end of a long marriage, raising children, going to school, managing responsibilities, and trying to figure out what life was going to look like next.

There was a tremendous amount I couldn't control.

And my OCD responded by trying to find control.

That's something I've come to understand about myself.

When life becomes uncertain, my brain can start searching for certainty.

I can know logically that something is unlikely.

I can understand exactly what my brain is doing.

I can even recognize the OCD pattern while it's happening.

And still feel the anxiety.

That's an important distinction.

Insight doesn't automatically eliminate symptoms.

Knowing how anxiety works doesn't mean you never experience anxiety.

Being a therapist doesn't mean I can simply therapist-myself out of every difficult moment.

During that period, I returned to therapy myself.

I didn't see that as failure.

I needed support.

I needed to refresh skills.

And I needed someone outside of my own head to help me recognize when OCD was trying to take control of the conversation.

That experience continues to influence the therapist I am today.

The Search for Certainty

One of the most helpful things I've learned about OCD is that the goal isn't necessarily to finally answer every “what if?”

Because OCD is very creative.

Answer one question and it may produce another.

“But what if…?”

“Are you absolutely sure?”

“What if this time is different?”

“What if you missed something?”

The search for 100% certainty can become endless.

So recovery often involves learning something that initially feels very uncomfortable:

How to tolerate uncertainty.

Instead of answering every “what if,” we can practise responding differently.

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

“I don't need to solve this right now.”

“This feels urgent, but feeling urgent doesn't necessarily mean it is urgent.”

“I can tolerate not knowing.”

Those responses don't give OCD the certainty it wants.

That's the point.

Technique #1: Name the Pattern

When an intrusive thought appears, try noticing what's happening without immediately engaging with the content.

Instead of:

“What if this thought is true?”

Try:

“I'm noticing my OCD is looking for certainty.”

Or:

“This feels like an intrusive thought.”

Naming the pattern creates a little distance between you and the thought.

You are having a thought.

You are not the thought.

Technique #2: Delay the Compulsion

When you feel the urge to check, research, ask for reassurance, or perform another compulsion, experiment with delaying it.

Start small.

Maybe five minutes.

Notice what happens to the anxiety.

You may discover something important:

Anxiety can rise.

And anxiety can fall.

Without the compulsion.

The goal isn't to force yourself to feel calm immediately.

The goal is to learn that you can experience discomfort without automatically responding to it.

Technique #3: Be Careful With Reassurance Seeking

This one can be difficult for both the person with OCD and the people who love them.

Someone may repeatedly ask:

“Are you sure?”

“Do you think I'm okay?”

“Do you think I did something wrong?”

“Can you promise nothing bad will happen?”

Naturally, someone who loves them wants to say:

“Of course! You're absolutely fine.”

But repeated reassurance can sometimes become part of the compulsion cycle.

It provides temporary relief.

Then the doubt returns.

Then reassurance is needed again.

Support can sound more like:

“I can see that you're really anxious right now.”

“I love you, and I don't think answering that question again is going to help your OCD.”

“Let's use one of your coping strategies instead.”

We can validate the emotion without repeatedly feeding the need for certainty.

Technique #4: Try Grounding When Anxiety Is High

Grounding doesn't treat the OCD itself, but it can help when your nervous system feels overwhelmed.

Try the 3-3-3 technique I've written about before:

• Identify three things you can see.

• Notice three things you can hear.

• Move three parts of your body.

You can also slow your breathing and notice your feet against the floor.

Grounding brings your attention back to the present rather than deeper into the mental debate OCD wants you to have.

Technique #5: Stop Arguing With Every Thought

We can spend enormous amounts of energy trying to prove an intrusive thought wrong.

But thoughts aren't facts.

And thoughts don't always require investigation.

Try imagining intrusive thoughts like notifications appearing on your phone.

A notification appears.

You see it.

That doesn't mean you have to open it.

Similarly, you can notice:

“There's that thought again.”

And redirect your attention toward what you were doing.

It may return.

That's okay.

Notice it again.

Then return again.

The goal isn't to never have intrusive thoughts.

It's to change your relationship with them.

Technique #6: Exposure and Response Prevention

One of the most established therapeutic approaches for OCD is Exposure and Response Prevention, often called ERP.

In simplified terms, ERP involves gradually and intentionally facing triggers associated with OCD while resisting the compulsion normally used to reduce anxiety.

The person learns:

I can experience uncertainty.

I can experience anxiety.

I don't have to perform the ritual.

The feeling eventually changes.

ERP should be approached thoughtfully, particularly when symptoms are significant, and working with a mental health professional who understands OCD can be extremely valuable.

It isn't about throwing someone into their biggest fear.

It's about gradually developing tolerance for discomfort and reducing the power compulsions have over someone's life.

Families Can Help Without Becoming Part of the OCD

OCD doesn't only affect the individual experiencing it.

Families can unintentionally become involved in rituals.

A parent repeatedly answers reassurance questions.

A partner checks something on the person's behalf.

Family members change routines to avoid triggering anxiety.

Usually, this comes from love.

You don't want someone you care about to suffer.

But supporting someone with OCD sometimes means learning the difference between supporting the person and supporting the compulsion.

You can say:

“I know this is uncomfortable, and I'm here with you while you work through it.”

That is very different from helping OCD achieve certainty.

Self-Compassion Matters Too

There is another piece of OCD management that I think deserves more attention.

Compassion.

Living with a brain that repeatedly produces unwanted thoughts and doubts can be exhausting.

Beating yourself up for having those thoughts adds another layer of suffering.

You didn't choose the intrusive thought.

The work is deciding how you respond to it.

Some days you'll respond exactly how you hoped.

Other days OCD may get the better of you.

Recovery isn't perfection.

It's practice.

Having OCD Doesn't Define Me

OCD is something I experience.

It isn't everything I am.

I am a mother.

An Oma.

A partner.

A therapist.

A business owner.

A supervisor.

A friend.

A person who has built a life I'm proud of.

And I'm also someone whose brain occasionally says:

“But are you sure?”

I've learned that I don't always have to answer it.

That may be one of the greatest lessons OCD has taught me.

We can experience uncomfortable thoughts without obeying them.

We can feel anxiety without allowing anxiety to make every decision.

And we can seek support when our own skills need reinforcement.

If you recognize yourself in this blog, particularly if intrusive thoughts or compulsions are taking significant amounts of time, creating distress, interfering with relationships, or affecting your ability to function, consider reaching out for professional support.

You don't have to wait until OCD controls your life before asking for help.

And if someone you love experiences OCD, learning about the disorder can help you become a source of support without unintentionally reinforcing the cycle.

At Venture Counselling & Therapy Inc., we believe that therapy should provide a compassionate place to explore what's happening beneath the behaviour—not judge someone for the thoughts or fears they're experiencing.

Intrusive thoughts can feel frightening or embarrassing.

A trained therapist understands that having a thought is not the same as wanting it, agreeing with it, or acting on it.

Sometimes simply understanding that can remove an enormous amount of shame.

Final Thoughts

During OCD Awareness Week, I hope we move beyond jokes about colour-coded closets and perfectly organized cupboards.

OCD is real.

It can be exhausting.

It can be invisible.

And it can be treated.

I also hope people living with OCD understand something else:

You can have OCD and build a meaningful life.

You can have difficult seasons and find your footing again.

You can know all the coping skills and still occasionally need someone else's support.

I know that personally.

Because I don't just understand OCD from the therapist's chair.

I've experienced what it's like when my own mind desperately wants certainty.

And I've also experienced what happens when we learn that we don't have to give it an answer every single time.

Sometimes the most powerful response to OCD's:

“But what if?”

is simply:

“Maybe. Maybe not. I'm going to keep living my life anyway.”

Sign-Off

This OCD Awareness Week, may we replace stereotypes with understanding, shame with compassion, and the endless search for certainty with the courage to live alongside a little uncertainty.

Rose Degenhardt, MA, RCT, CCC

Registered Counselling Therapist

Founder & Clinical Director

Venture Counselling & Therapy Inc.

A Reflection for You

Where in your life are you searching for absolute certainty—and what might change if you allowed yourself to say, “I don't know, and I can handle not knowing right now”?