Strong Enough to Feel: Fatherhood, Masculinity, and Mental Health

By Rose Degenhardt, MA, RCT, CCC

Registered Counselling Therapist | Founder & Clinical Director, Venture Counselling & Therapy

Inc.

Posted: June 25, 2026

Looking Beyond Father's day

Father's Day has just passed, and for many families it was a time of celebration, gratitude, and connection. Social media filled with photos of dads at barbecues, fishing trips, family gatherings, and special moments with their children.

But behind many of those smiles is a reality we don't talk about enough.

Many fathers are struggling.

Not because they don't love their families. Not because they aren't trying. But because the

expectations placed on men and fathers today can feel overwhelming, confusing, and sometimes impossible to meet.

As a therapist, I see this regularly. Fathers are carrying enormous responsibilities while often

receiving very little permission to talk about the emotional weight they carry.

The Changing Role of Fathers

Today's fathers are expected to be many things at once.

They are expected to:

• Be providers

• Be emotionally available

• Be involved parents

• Be supportive partners

• Be successful at work

• Be physically healthy

• Be patient and present

None of these expectations are unreasonable on their own. The challenge is that many men are trying to meet all of them simultaneously while navigating financial pressures, relationship challenges, work stress, and the everyday demands of life.

Unlike previous generations, many fathers today want to be deeply involved in their children's

lives. They are coaching sports teams, attending school events, changing diapers, helping with homework, and showing up in ways that previous generations of men were often not encouraged to do.

That's a positive shift.

But it also comes with pressure.

The Problem with "Tough it out"

Many men grew up hearing messages like:

• "Man up"

• "Don't cry"

• "Be strong"

• "Suck it up"

• "Handle it yourself"

While resilience is valuable, these messages can create a dangerous misunderstanding: that

strength means suppressing emotions.

The reality is that emotions don't disappear when ignored. They simply find other ways to emerge.

Sometimes they show up as:

• Anger

• Irritability

• Withdrawal

• Overworking

• Substance use

• Anxiety

• Depression

Men often don't experience emotional distress differently than women—they are simply

socialized to express it differently.

Toxic Masculinity vs. Healthy Masculinity

The term "toxic masculinity" can sometimes create defensiveness because it sounds like

masculinity itself is the problem.

It isn't!

Masculinity is not toxic.

What's harmful are rigid beliefs that tell men:

• They cannot be vulnerable

• They cannot ask for help

• Their worth is based solely on performance

• Emotions are weakness

• Failure makes them less of a man

Healthy masculinity looks very different.

Healthy masculinity includes:

• Courage and vulnerability

• Strength and compassion

• Leadership and humility

• Confidence and self-awareness

A man can be strong and still struggle.

A father can be capable and still need support.

The Mental Health Reality for Fathers

Research consistently shows that men are less likely to seek mental health support than women, despite experiencing significant rates of anxiety, depression, and stress.

Many fathers wait until they are overwhelmed before reaching out.

Unfortunately, by the time they seek support, they are often carrying years of accumulated stress.

Mental health challenges in fathers can impact:

• Relationships

• Parenting

• Physical health

• Work performance

• Overall quality of life

The good news is that support works.

Therapy helps fathers:

• Manage stress more effectively

• Improve emotional regulation

• Strengthen communication

• Build healthier relationships

• Develop coping skills that benefit the entire family

A Personal Reflection

Throughout my work, I have had the privilege of seeing incredible fathers show up for their

families in meaningful ways.

I've watched fathers attend therapy to become better parents. I've seen men break generational cycles of silence and emotional suppression. I've witnessed dads learning how to communicate emotions they were never taught to express growing up.

Those moments matter.

Because every time a father chooses healing, self-awareness, or vulnerability, he is not only

helping himself—he is modeling something powerful for the next generation.

He is teaching his children that strength is not the absence of emotion.

Strength is having the courage to face it.

Redefining What It Means to Be Strong

Perhaps one of the greatest gifts fathers can give themselves is permission to redefine strength.

Strength is:

• Asking for help when needed

• Taking care of your mental health

• Apologizing when you've made mistakes

• Being emotionally present

• Continuing to grow

Children don't need perfect fathers.

They need fathers who are willing to be human.

Final Thoughts

As we reflect on Father's Day this month, let's move beyond celebrating only what fathers do and begin acknowledging what many fathers carry.

The pressure to provide.

The pressure to protect.

The pressure to succeed.

The pressure to be everything for everyone.

Fathers deserve support too.

And perhaps one of the strongest things a father can do is recognize that he doesn't have to carry everything alone.

Sign-Off

With appreciation for the fathers, grandfathers, stepfathers, foster fathers, and father figures who continue showing up and growing,

Rose Degenhardt, MA, RCT, CCC

Registered Counselling Therapist

Founder & Clinical Director

Venture Counselling & Therapy Inc.

A Reflection for You

If strength wasn't defined by how much you could carry alone, what support might you allow

yourself to receive?