We Are Not What Happened to Us

By Rose Degenhardt, MA, RCT, CCC

Owner of Venture Counselling & Therapy Inc.

“You are not what happened to you. You are what you choose to become.”

– Carl Jung

As a trauma therapist and as someone who carries her own lived experience of trauma, I want to say something loud and clear:

Trauma does not define us.

It shapes us, yes. It affects how we see the world, how we trust, how we love, and how we cope. But it does not have the final word on who we are—or who we can become.

Trauma Isn’t Just the Wound—It’s Also the Healing

We often talk about trauma as this heavy, unrelenting force—and for many people, it absolutely is.

It can steal safety, trust, childhoods, and sometimes even entire chapters of our lives. And

acknowledging that pain is essential to healing.

But too often, what gets missed in these conversations is what trauma survivors also carry:

⚡️ Resilience

⚡️ Resourcefulness

⚡️ Strength beyond comprehension

⚡️ Empathy, depth, and courage

I’ve never met someone who has walked through trauma who wasn’t also wildly resilient in some way—even if they didn’t see it in themselves yet.

Grit Is Built in the Fire.

Resilience isn’t just the ability to “bounce back.” It’s the ability to keep going when nothing

makes sense. It’s trying again after being hurt. It’s showing up even when your nervous system is begging you to shut down. It’s messy, gritty, and often invisible—but it’s there.

If you’ve ever:

-Gotten out of bed on a day you wanted to disappear

-Fought to change patterns that were wired into you from childhood

-Set a boundary even though your voice shook

-Asked for help even though vulnerability felt terrifying

...then you already know what I mean. That’s resilience. That’s grit. That’s post-traumatic

strength.

Trauma Can Forge Purpose.

Many of the most compassionate, purpose-driven people I know are trauma survivors. Why?

Because pain expands our capacity for empathy. Because surviving makes us want to help others do the same.

That’s how Venture Counselling was born—from my own journey through the darkness and a deep belief that healing is possible. We don’t need to pretend trauma didn’t happen. We just need to remember that it’s not the whole story.

You Are Not Broken!

If no one has told you lately:

🔸You are not broken.

🔸You are not too much.

🔸 You are not weak for struggling.

🔸You are not beyond healing.

You are a human being whose body and brain learned how to survive unbearable things. And

now, you’re learning how to thrive.

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting or minimizing your trauma—it means transforming your

relationship with it. It means taking back your power, reclaiming your voice, and building a life

rooted in safety, purpose, and joy.

Let’s Honour the Full Story:

At Venture Counselling, we honour the whole story—not just the hurt, but the healing. Not just

the trauma, but the truth of who you are underneath it all: worthy, strong, and capable of

transformation.

You are not what happened to you.

You are who you choose to become.

And I believe in who that person is—every single day.

With compassion and courage,

– Rose Degenhardt, MA, RCT, CCC

Owner of Venture Counselling & Therapy Inc.